I've not felt the need to write for a while. I don't feel the need to write now, but feel that I must keep this going to make sure you know what each step was like for us.
We went to the Dr in December. He was much nicer this round; more humble. Your father came with me and he asked good questions and listened to the Dr. We came out with a solid plan. First round - Progesterone to get my cycle started, then 150mg Clomid, then ovulation testing. The process would take 6 weeks, and then we'd take a test. The Dr said that he would only keep me on Clomid up to 300mg if necessary, for no longer than 6 cycles. After that, if we were still unsuccessful he would send us to an infertility specialist. We didn't really discuss that part of it. I did my online research per usual and read the nasty side effects that could occur on progesterone and Clomid. I was scared, but also hopeful that this would work. We decided that I would start acting like I was pregnant when it came to food and drinks, so that if it did work for us my body would be ready for you.
Cycle one began on January 8. I had my last glass of wine on January 7 and took the first pill that next morning. The moodiness and fatigue kicked in right away; your poor father. It's incredible how quickly hormones can take a hold of you. You'll understand one day what that's like. I took the Clomid as scheduled and didn't feel any side effects until day 3, then the hot flashes and fatigue kicked in. The hot flashes were the worst. I barely slept in the evening because I couldn't get comfortable and even though our bedroom temperature was hovering around 55, I felt like I was going to melt. The not sleeping didn't help the fatigue, and I became more and more tired. Luckily the fatigue came and went. The hot flashes lingered on for a few more days, but they eventually died down.
Ovulation testing came, and I diligently peed on a stick twice a day. Day 4 of testing, we got a smiley face. I squealed and jumped up and down, and took a picture and sent it to Nona. Your father and I did our best to take advantage of that smiley face and our short window of time.
A week before I was scheduled to take a test I started feeling funny and exhibiting pregnancy symptoms. Suddenly I wanted a hot dog one afternoon at work, and that's all I could think about! I got home and asked your father to drive me to Sonic, then on our way the thought of a hot dog started making me feel nauseous. I felt nauseous on and off, and fatigued for a few days. I even started having lower back pain and cramping. I started spotting a bit one day, and a bit the next. I thought that I must be pregnant. I told your father and we were both over the moon! I took a test and it was negative, but I didn't lose courage. I took another test and it was negative. Then my cycle came, and I wanted to crawl into a ball and hide under the covers.
I had a pity party for two days, and your father talked to me about his feelings and we both were upset. I called the Dr and he said it was time to start Clomid again, and luckily we didn't have to raise the dose.
Cycle two has been quick because we didn't have to wait, we started Clomid right away. Tomorrow is my first ovulation test. We'll see how it goes.
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